Ring around the moon

Okay these pictures are not posting as well as they did on my laptop. They are of the moon last night. I went out side to get my laundry from the line and the moon was right in the center of the sky and surrounded by a huge ring that extended itself across more than that half the night sky. it was amazing. i have never seen anything like it in my life....there was a partial lunar eclipse here yesterday at 530pm that was no visible because of the rain but i am wondering if the amazing night sky had something to do with it.

friends and co-workers

We have been to the gach a couple of times now and I am begining to adjust. I am shy with my Bangla and certainly very rough after not speaking for more than 2 years. Yesterday was good. I met alot of girls i have never met before along with several that i knew when i was here before. I longing for better bangla skills and deeper relationships with the girls but i know that both will take time--probably alot of time. this picture is of kristin and kiran--the amazing women who are currently spending time in the gach and have been for some time. Kristin is my amazing, visionary friend whose passion for the women in the gach is amazing and kiran is a bengali christian who began working with kristin several month ago three days a week. I am looking forward to great relationships with both these ladies and we seek to serve and love the women of the gach.

Thoughts for today

I wrote the last post as my prayer letter and then still had so much time that new things to share cropped up so i decided to post this one on my blog and use the new heart revelation for my prayer letter. things have been going pretty well over all.

kristin and i have been doing this intense work out for two days and then we were both super sore yesterday so we had a rest day...not as sore as if i ran a marathon but sore in more places...here is the work out if you want to try it...

One set:

100 juming jacks

100 jumps

Three sets:

15 push ups

45 seconds wall sit

20 chair lifts for the tricep

One set:
100 juming jacks
100 jumps

Three sets:

20 crunches

20 butterfly sit up left

20 butterfly sit up right

20 toe touch crunches

20 plank leg drops

One set:
100 juming jacks
100 jumps

if you do it let me know what you think...maybe i will take pics next time so you can see how we do it...that would be funny.

I am mostly recovered from jet lag but today for some reason i feel weary and nearly weepy...reading my emails today made me feel very loved and maybe reminded me of what i am missing just a little in choosing to come here.

Getting my heart cleaned up

“A man’s life does not consist of the abundance of his possessions.” Luke 12:15

“His word is in my heart like a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot.” Jeremiah 20:9

It is always painful to confronted with our sin…I have been in Kolkata for only few days and I am overwhelmed with the darkness and poverty of my own heart as I begin to be confronted again with the physical and spiritual poverty around me.

I am in pain as I consider some of the selfishness with which I have lived in the last two years. The last two years have been amazing and healing in so many ways and yet I see how it is marred by allowing so many alternatives to being with Jesus to distract and sooth me. I have not forgotten Kolkata but I have forgotten how to live sacrificially and with daily encounters with suffering…this is lesson that I am sure I will have to learn over and over again my lifetime. I have had everything that I have wanted or needed in the last couple years and yet I lacked some thankfulness and humility in receiving what has been mine to steward. I think every time I come to Kolkata there is period of refinement and period of stripping away the superficial things that I can so easily cling to for protection, the false gods in my heart are being knocked down and my selfish and lying heart is exposed and I am thankful and deeply humbled. I do not think it strange that my time here is starting with a time of repentance because I know repentance will lead me to adoration and praise so that my heart will burn as Jeremiah’s and I will not be able to contain it.

I left the USA to be with the beloved women and children loaded with three heavy bags so that I can be comfortable. Comfortable and safe in my home…yet I now I am reminded again that all I need and have ever needed is Jesus. The abundance contained bags will not be my solace or protector only Jesus will satisfy. I am reading “The Heavenly Man” by Brother Yun and I am overwhelmed by the sacrifices of Chinese believers for the sake of the kingdom. Their obedience and sacrifice is a testimony for the entire world. I sit here now asking God what will my testimony for the kingdom be…will it be one of selfishness and lies or one of obedience and sacrifice.

I am hoping that it will be one of faithful obedience and sacrifice. These last two years have been preparation for these years ahead but I am not done, there is still so much I have to learn, so much to confess, so much to lay at the feet of the Master until I am fully His with boundaries or barriers. I have said over and over as I prepared to come to Kolkata that my desire was not to be needs driven but Jesus driven so my prayer is that I would allow Jesus to drive my steps and refine my heart daily for His glory. I pray that I can live a life of vulnerability and sacrifice so that these special women in Sonagacchi can know the amazing, redeeming love of Jesus.

Dead Cockroachs on the Stairs

So this morning when i went downstairs there was a dead cockroach on the stairs...pretty gross, just lying there. And it is funny because this morning was a little painful and some areas of brokeness were revealed and that painful refining process that happens in situations unfamiliar started taking place. it became a time of repentance...it was painful but good. but seeing that dead cockroach that no one cleaned up reminded me that is how i live i leave the dead cockroachs on the stairs instead of cleaning them up and leading a redeemed life. so i guess when i go home i will do the dirty work and throw that roach out on the street and remember that my owns sins once confessed can also be thrown out and left behind as i repent and walk the redeemed way. weird analogy but it makes sense to me right now.

First Journal Entry 10/8/05

strange to be here again...sitting with Jesus on the verge of tears in calcutta. praying thankfulness for love...his love. wanting,hoping to see the word made flesh...wanting to proclaim the way of jesus as john the baptist. want to annouce in a loud voice satan you have no power here and the lord is here and his light will not be overcome by your darkness. promising myself hope with these words. hoping jesus will prepare a way in my heart as he prepares the way...the way in calcutta. i dragged myself in to this time this morning...afraid of what might be here or not be here...already on my first day fearing that Jesus might not be enough, he might not meet me, be with me, love and light me. but he is near, so near telling me of love and life... john 1...follow me he say...so here i am feeling his embrace, dark is light, depths are heights, far is near. he is near. simple beads lead me here to hear him...love him and be loved by him. i am a vessel...a empty chalice to be filled and poured out in the hands of my master. today his banner over me is love.

Top Ten from the first 24 hours

10. Always good to see fat indian men in unitards as the poster boys. for a circdusolie type event. Makes me want to go for sure.
9. Sudder street is not for sissy's.
8. Nothing beats indian hospitality...chai, chowmein, and some heavy lifting on my behalf by a 9 and 11 year old.
7.HOT! HOT! SWEAT! MORE SWEAT!
6. Thanks to the disorganization of Indian airlines...i did not have to pay another $144.00 for my extra bag. The bangkok people tried to make me pay but i did not have the cash so they said someone would meet me in Calcutta...no one met me...and i did not go looking. I guess there is a chance they could get me the next time i fly indian airlines.
5. My trip here was probably my worst travel experience ever...so either satan is trying to discourage me or jesus is trying to teach me patience and submission. probably a little of both.
4. Fast fans are a gift from God.
3. Kolkata air is enough to make you smoke or make you quit... just suck up the sweet calcutta air!
2. Kolkata'te onek beshi lok ache (calcutta has a lot of people)!!
1. Friends to Welcome you home! Super glad to be with Maya and the Tollygunge folks.

TIRED EYES!

Ouch! Painful to look at...10 hours into my 14 hour layover in Taipei. 

Taipei Sky

Nice to wake up after a long night in the aiport to a little beauty and some free wireless. Check out the Taipei sky !!

What a Good Lookin Family!!

 

Santa Cruz

 

All that remains... 

What was lost... 

the frond and the sea 

Sweet coastline 

Boarding in Sri Lanka--GO MATT!

Some beachy pics from Sri Lanka 

SRI LANKA INITIAL REFLECTIONS

My time in sri lanka was exceptional...a really sweet
time of fellowship with those i worked with and a
blessing to see what has happened since we started the
tsunami relief project in february.

a few things that struck me--while i was there and
even now i feel small... to see the destruction and
to swim in the ocean that took so many--to make sense
of what it must have been like -- at some points i
felt like i was having a little post tramatic stress
and could sense anxiousness in my own heart about
whether it could happen again...and even this week
with the london bombings i was reminded that the violence
and loss of human life goes on around the world...we
are small and fragile whether it is a tsunami or a
terrorist... so like i said i felt small...very much
not in control and very fragile in this very large out
of control world. events like the tsunami remind us of
our humanity , our fragility as human beings--as much
as we would like to think so we are not in control.
but though i am small and what i have and who i am can
be stolen at any moment of any day i realized again
that if all was lost--jesus is enough. that may sound
easy and maybe even cliche but the simplicity of it is
profound . i am small--god is bigger and big enough.

the other thing that kept occurring to me was the song
that i learned in sunday school--you know the one--the
wise man built his house upon the rock--the foolish
man built his house upon the sand--but my thought was
that the poor man built his house upon the sand and
floods came up and the house on the sand went splat!
in sri lanka one house might be standing and the one
next to it flattened with only the foundation left.
even still it is the poorest who remain in tents and
along the train tracks with nothing and no rights to
rebuild what they lost because they did not own it in
the first place...while much progress has been made so
many still suffer...the poor were made poorer and the
middle class poor by the tsunami--the poor man on the
sand does not have a tsunami waring system....this is
not a completely developed idea yet so if the above
does not make sense i am sure i will talk about it
more in my next prayer letter.

lastly, even in all the destruction, i still walk away
with hope. hope becuase the homes that we have the
opportunity to build with habitat in sri lanka are not
just a sub standard replacement to what was lost but
something new and better. we have a unique
opportunity not just to rebuild the nations devastated
in the tsunami to to BUILD them...to see the injustice
and desperation that was there before and say we will
not let what was be the future...i hope for the people
sri lanka and i hope for those who yet to receive the
help the need.

continue to pray for the tsunami affected
nations--there are years to come of building was lost

The new home next to the one standing white wall of the old home. 

Building Homes in Sri Lanka