God Sets the Lonley in Families

I am not a mother, I have no children of my own. I am not even married. I am a graying single woman who is surrounded by more family, more sisters, and more children then I could have ever dreamed.

I have been given the gift of coming from a beautiful family that raised me well, cherished me, called me smart, a princess, a woman of compassion, my parents told me I could do anything, be anything. I believed them. And this family that I was born into loved me enough to let me go. They sent me here to India, they are sharing me and prayerfully upholding me. They are my Aaron and Hur. And here I am bewildered and amazed by the gift of more family.

It's true that God sets the lonely in families. I see it happening everyday. I see women come through the doors of Sari Bari and find something they have been longing for, a safe place, a community, a family. We are a unique family, heavy on the x chromosome but thankfully cherish the few who carry the y chromosome ( they redeem the whole lot with their presence and because of who they are among us). We are a family that mourns the losses in our midst, a family of hope addicted crazy dreamers who believe that impossible is possible, a family that spends most of its time just being together, working alongside each other, supporting, listening and moving forward one step at a time.

today, we celebrate the 5 year anniversary of Sari Bari and they many beautiful, amazing women who are the core of our family. I may being graying but I am so not alone and so very thankful to celebrate our life together this week as we travel to a hill station (a short 8 hour train ride and 5 hour jeep ride away) to mark this moment in time, to remember all that God has done and to look foward with Hope to future whose seeds have been planted but have yet to bloom.

It's a good story

A good storyteller doesn't just tell a better story. She invites other people into the story with her, giving them a better story too.
–Donald Miller, A Million Miles, in a Thousand Years

Dear Friends and Family-
In the last ten years, I have been invited into many stories. I have been invited into the lives of the people of Kolkata and some of the journeys have been short and some of them long. Each of these stories has deeply impacted me, changed me, formed me into who I have become and who I am becoming as friend, a woman, a seeker of justice and freedom and a follower of Jesus.
When I began ten years ago, I was welcomed into the story of Mother Teresa and the women of the Missionaries of Charity, who have given their lives in whole hearted service to the poorest of the poor. I spent years discovering the heart of God in the broken bodies and minds of the destitute whom I been given the opportunity to serve, love and care for at the Home for Dying. These beloved women(MC Sisters) taught me a new way to pray, a new way to serve and new way to mourn for those who found themselves with no one to stand beside them in their times of most desperate need. I remember being invited to sit with Sister Georgina to pray beside a man who dying and we prayed until he slipped into the arms of God. I remember caring for a woman with AIDS with touch and songs and I remember her reciprocity and God’s affirmation of how He saw us both, as His beloved daughters, not separated by language or culture or class. We were His and held together by His embrace.

As I continued, I made many friends whose stories led me and challenged. There was Martin, a gentle Irish man, whose compassion and commitment taught me about humility and grace. Martin truly is one of the few people I have ever met that reflected Jesus almost perfectly.
My friend Maya welcomed me into her home and heart in the early days in Tollygunge. She fed me, stretched me as I struggled through my Bengali and my culture shock. Maya is my oldest friend in Kolkata and as I joined her story, I also joined the stories of her children who are now becoming adults and overwhelming me with just how old I am now!

The WMF community in Kolkata has grown and changed and evolved over the last 10 years and I would not be who I am without the Brotherly love and friendship of Josh, Kyle and Trever. They protected me, challenged me, inspired me and hugged me every night when they left my house. My beloved sister Kristin, cofounder of Sari Bari, was my back up in so many ways. She taught me that No can sometimes be the most loving answer. She showed a way of passion and compelling love that still drives and impacts me. She held me and knew me in my deepest brokenness and loved me anyway. And there is Bethie, so much more than a little sister, a partner whose heart holds the key to opening so many doors in the lives of people whom she serves Sheppard’s and upholds in prayer. Kyle Scott has been an anchoring presence of peace and service and example of just how redemptive a good man can be in a place where all the brokenness of males surrounds us. And now, Melissa, Sheila and Brookie offering something new…I am excited to share in the coming years with these beautiful women.

Pinkie’s story brought me back to Kolkata with a desire to give my life here. I met her in 2004 and her tragic story brought me to my knees in lament before God and spurred the passionate desire to never have to walk away from a young girl trapped in the sex trade by poverty with no choices, ever again. The end of her story is unknown to me but I hope and pray that she found a way.

The words that came from the story of a man who spent thirty years in Bangladesh still move me to tears. “Dream for things you will never see.” And I do, I do.

Some my favorite stories are the ones connected with the Birth of Sari Bari. We were invited into the story of Freeset, Connextions and At the Well who gave us encouragement, place, and vision for the first stumbling steps forward. Out of these first stumbling steps, I was given relationship with Upendra. He is brother and friend. I am pretty sure he might be a super hero; God has given him the gift of being able to accomplish the impossible in India and his joy in doing it is testimony to his character. I have also been given beautiful friendships with Radha, Shela and Gita. Sharing in Gita’s story has been something like the joy of being a mom and watching your children blossom and grow and do impossible things with grace. Last year when I walked her down the aisle on her wedding day was one of the most important and beautiful days of my life.
And of course the story that I love to tell and the story that I love to be a part of is the stories of freedom that come out of the life journey’s of the women at Sari Bari. They have invited me into their stories with such trust and love. I know them as sisters, saints, teachers and heroes. We have shared the highest highs and the lowest lows together as family. I have watched as Jamuna, a friend for three years prior to Sari Bari, trapped in one of the worst brothels I have ever entered, become an advocate for the freedom of other women as she makes her own freedom journey. The gift of watching so many of the women at Sari Bari blossom, grow and find new life has been something that I struggle to give words. I never could have imagined that so many would become managers, trainers and heroes for other woman. They now led us forward as they invite new women into both their stories of loss and into their stories of hope and restoration. I have sat by Ranjana’s beside begging and pleading with God for her life and have seen God save and restore her. I have mourned alongside Ranjana as she lost her husband to HIV, shared my home with her, even as she taught me quiet lessons on faith, waiting and receiving. I have mourned the loss of Pornima alongside the women at Sari Bari and I jumped into the dirtiest river I have ever seen, to share in the washing away of the tears after the funeral. In the last 5 years, I have seen more than 80 women celebrate their first freedom birthday on the day they entered Sari Bari for training and just a few weeks ago 2 women who have been with us since the beginning , marked their 5th freedom birthday and 8 more celebrated 4 years! We have celebrated birthdays, retreats, graduations, births and freedom together. These women are now deeply apart of my story and I am so very honored to have been invited to be a part of theirs!

I celebrate the journey and I celebrate being invited into the stories of so many amazing people. I celebrate you, my friends and family, who have journeyed with me, visited me, upheld me and my community in prayer, and also been so generous and faithful in creating the opportunity for me to be here with your support. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

I am looking forward to the stories of the next ten years of stories in Kolkata and looking forward to my upcoming Sabbatical which I am sure will be full of opportunities to join in new stories and invite others into mine!

With a spirit of thankful celebration for all that God has done in and through these many stories,
Sarah

Flowers in the Jungle

“No one sees flowers in the jungle. It’s the jungle, flowers are fragile and stunning, and no one would plant a flower in the jungle, who would see it?” This is the way my friend began her story recently as we sat together on my bed both of us sick and trying to recover. Jamuna has been my friend for 5 years. She is without a doubt one of my hero’s and one of the women whose life and story is a miracle. She is a prophet and preacher of freedom in the Red Light areas, she has brought many women through the doors of Sari Bari and continues to be an active advocate for freedom and offer hope to others. She has found her feet and is beginning to root in beautiful and healthy way, a flower herself planted in the jungle as she continues to live in the red light, being a presence and witness to the power of love within her.

Jamuna told me that it is was a woman who is interested in coming to work at sari Bari who offered this reflection on flowers in the Jungle. The woman asked, who plants a beautiful flower in the jungle, no one would see it. The jungle is dangerous and unpredictable no one would plant a thing of beauty in a place like that! She said that Sari Bari coming to Sonagacchi last year was like a flower being planted in the jungle…no one who matters is ever going to see it or understand its beauty. She was profoundly amazed at seeing someone plant a flower in the jungle of Sonagacchi, right in the midst of the darkness of a dangerous jungle, a flower to bring hope. She thought maybe the folks at Sari Bari must be a little crazy but she was thankful that she might have the opportunity to be a part of it.

I was pretty overwhelmed and amazed to hear this story…a reflection from a woman who does not even work for us yet a woman who gets it better than most. I keep thinking flowers in the jungle are sign posts of the kingdom. A beautiful flower amidst other beautiful flower is still beautiful but it does not stand unique. I think the sign posts of the kingdom are everywhere but I see them standing out in a profound way when I walk through Sonagacchi. In the middle of the red light area, at an intersection of lanes that I walk by everyday on my way to work, I imagine a lamppost, it’s so dirty that nobody even notices it when they walk by, but I see it. I know its power to light up the lane, for now it waits, fully powered but not fully ready to be revealed. This is sign post of the kingdom, the thing that allows me to walk through the lanes alone instead of around—the knowledge that the lamppost is fully powered and is only waiting to be revealed. This is the kingdom, fully powered only waiting to be revealed.

The woman who sees’s Sari Bari as a flower in the jungle is really seeing a signpost of the kingdom and it is truly a unique thing of beauty. But she does not yet see the reverse, that in my eyes, in the eyes of our community and certainly in the eyes of God, the flower in the jungle is her, a beautiful treasure who has the possibility of blooming in the most unlikely of places, the tragic circumstances that have made this dangerous jungle home only makes the beauty of this flower more striking. We are surrounded by flowers in Sonagacchi, waiting to be revealed and discovered. What will Songacchi, the place called Golden Tree, be in ten years, or twenty or fifty? We believe with hope that it will be garden of overwhelming beauty—a testimony that a small frail flower can in time with the right nurturing take over even the darkest densest jungle.

We will be marking 5 years of Sari this month on February 20^th. We will be celebrating with our women by taking them to Darjeeling for our annual retreat. I am looking forward to sharing in this celebration and embracing the bouquet of beautiful women that it has been my privilege to share life with over the last 5 years. Many years ago before I came back to Kolkata in 2005, I talked about creating a garden space in my heart and in my home to make Kolkata more sustainable—a life giving place and I am overwhelmed to see that once again God has done more than we could ask or imagine by surrounding us with a garden of the most beautiful flowers (relationship with the women) in the midst of the jungle where I absolutely did not expect to find them.

If I had a glass, I would raise it and toast the ladies, “Here’s to you, the signposts of the kingdom in our midst, to life, to beauty, to freedom, to flowers in the jungle. Thanks be to God.”

Pretty interesting stuff...

Dear Friends:

This is a very important article. As a movement we have to be much more fastidious about the statistics/facts we use. Not doing so only undermines our credibility and gives ammunition to those who claim that sex trafficking is just hyperbole.

However, I'm not saying I agree with everything stated in this article. For instance I certainly take issue with statements like this: "Fuzzy data and definitions -- lumping under the 'trafficked' label not only girls forced into the trade and moved place to place but runaways who sell sex on their own -- fueled the frenzy." Minors cannot consent to participation in commercial sex. Their consent or lack thereof is a moot issue under the Trafficking Victims Protection Act. By federal statute minors in the sex trade are viewed as victims, and rightly so. It is the adults who purchase sex from minors who are culpable, not the children -- runaway, throwaway, homeless, prostituted, trafficked or whatever label you want to put on them.

Whatever the numbers in Portland may be, using reliable data -- even when that means no data -- should become one of our top priorities. Let's all (myself included) go reexamine our fact sheets.

Abolition!

Lisa

P.S. It certainly not surprising that a city the size of Seattle would have a larger problem than a city the size of Portland.

Analysis: Despite reputation, no proof Portland is a hub for child sex trafficking

Published: Thursday, January 13, 2011, 7:05 PM Updated: Friday, January 14, 2011, 9:59 AM

Portland Mayor Sam Adams stood before reporters and officials in November to decry how Portland has become "stained" as a national hub for juvenile sex trafficking.

As he spoke, aides passed out a news release with a startling statistic. Portland police, it read, see an average of two cases of child sex trafficking each week.

The problem: It wasn't true.

READ MORE: http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2011/01/portland_child_sex_trafficking.html

To be lived

I grew believing that worship was something to sung but I think worship is something to be lived.

I realize that I have a problem with singing Not a problem with God being good or deserving praise but the unreconcilable reality that sometimes my worship is not honest. My most honest worship in the last year has been full of lament…so it feels like I am not doing it right. I do not feel good or happy or joyful but I do desire God and do desire to be honest in my worship. I actually do not really want to sing much. I have veered toward the liturgical prayers of some saints and believers who expressed their worship in a different way. My confession is worship. My broken heart can weep for a day and it can be worship. My love for the ladies at Sari Bari can be an expression of honoring God if I choose it. God can be glorified in my life, words, actions, tears and maybe even my anger. My most honest worship might be giving to person who begs or taking someone to the hospital when I want to do is sleep. I grew up believing that worship was something to sung but I now better understand that worship is something to be lived. I hope this year, i will live it fully!

The scheming Swindlers

"The matter is quite simple. The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand we are obliged to act accordingly. Take any words in the New Testament and forget everything except pledging yourself to act accordingly. My God, you will say, if I do that my whole life will be ruined. Herein lies the real place of Christian scholarship. Christian scholarship is the Church's prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close. Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. Yes, it is even dreadful to be alone with the New Testament."

Soren Kierkegaard

New Mailing address

Some friends of ours are now willing to receive mail on our behalf so if you wanted to mail anything to me, my mailing address has changed to the following for personal letters and packages :)

Sarah Lance
c/o Peter Burrell
Swapandeep Apartment
520 Dum Dum Cossipore Rd.
Flat No. A3 Surer Math
Kolkata, India 700-074

January 2011: Sabbatical Letter

Dear Beloved Friends,

The New Year always opens doors for the possibility of new things, the possibility for renewal and second chances. I celebrate the gift it is and that it has been to be among these women , in this community and in the place of Kolkata for these many years and look forward with longing to coming years and the possibilities of God creative imagination for us. I just spent the last hour looking at the Sari Bari five year plan I wrote in 2006 and I was amazed to see that at almost every point (which mostly at the time felt impossible) we have seen the dreams become tangible realities.

This year (April 2011) marks 10 years with Word Made Flesh. During these years I have been stretched beyond my limits, and embraced with love beyond my imagination as I have sought Christ among the most vulnerable of the world’s poor in service and partnership. My heart has expanded as my vocation has narrowed from those who have been marginalized by poverty to the girls and women who find themselves in unspeakable situations of injustice while bonded in the sex trade. My desire is to continue moving forward with deepening commitment to relationship with God, with community, with the women of Sari Bari and their sisters who remain in the sex trade and with the extended work of the Kingdom in the world.

I am humbled and encouraged to share with you the news of my upcoming sabbatical as the next step in the journey toward long term vocation. Word Made Flesh provides time for Sabbatical up to 9 months after six years of service. This offering of Sabbatical is a reflection of God’s desire for not only the land but the people to rest from their toil every seventh year. (Exodus 21:2-6, Exodus 23:10-11, Leviticus 25:1-7, 18-22, and Deuteronomy 15:1-11, 12-18)

Almost 5 years ago when we started Sari Bari, I knew that it would require at least a 5 year commitment to see staff developed, vision shared and a sustainable foundation laid . This coming February, we will celebrate our 5 year birthday, marking what God has done in and through so many lives that now have freedom. Though I have been eligible for sabbatical for several years, I wanted to wait and to honor my commitment to Sari Bari and to the women and have the permission and support of my community, including all the ladies at Sari Bari. I have been so encouraged by their support , understanding and the opportunity to not only be sent out but also welcomed back at the end of my Sabbatical.

Sabbatical will be an extension of my vocation while I not only pursue times of spiritual formation, reflection and rest but also pursue some creative endeavors that will not only inspire my heart but will be an offering to the Sari Bari community as I hope to return full of creative ideas and design skills for new and amazing products that will bring freedom for more women. Under the direction of our community care department, I have invited 2 community members, Upendra and Beth, to be apart of my sabbatical planning team. Together we are setting goals and dreaming the possibilities of what God will do not only in my heart but in the hearts and minds of the staff as they take on more ownership and find a deeper calling to their vocations. I would so appreciate your prayers for all of us as the Sari Bari Community and the WMF regional community prepare for this creative absence.

You have been a sustaining force as you have journeyed and prayed with me and for me over the last 10 years. I am humbled and blessed to have such amazing partnership and to be connected to such a beautiful body of believers. I will be sharing more in the coming months and would love to hear from you if you have any questions or concerns. You can email me at sarah.lance@wordmadeflesh.org

Much love,
Sarah

SABBATICAL DETAILS:
Next summer I am coming to Portland, OR for my Sabbatical and I am looking for some help finding a few things. The dates of my sabbatical time in Portland will be from Mid May 2011 to December 2011.

1. A place to stay: I am not sure what my financial situation will be on support/part time job but I am sure I can offer something for rent. If you know of anyone with a room and bathroom (acess to a kitchen would also be awesome) that they will be willing to offer for 5-6 months for low or no rent please let me know. I would be willing to work for room rent if that is an option.
2. A fun job: In order to pay the costs of being on Sabbatical, I may need a part time job. I am hoping for something fun like working as a gardner, farm hand, set painter, Home Depot, or anything different from what I currently do in Kolkata. If you have any ideas or connections in this area please let me know.
3. Access to a car: I already have the wonderful offer of a bike to use while I am in Portland but I also may need a car from time to time. If you have or know of a car that could be shared or offered for periods of time while I am on sabbatical please let me know.
4. Camping stuff: I hope to have time to camp and hike and just “be” in the beauty that is Oregon, if you have or know someone who has camping stuff that I could borrow periodically while I am staying in Portland please let me know.
5. Church Recommendations: I am hoping to connect with a good church community, if you know one or two let me know!
6. Community: Last but certainly not least, I looking for community, a space to celebrate and mourn, a place be myself and celebrate and encourage others.

Now you ask, what exactly will Sarah be doing on Sabbatical? I am planning on taking courses at the Oregon School of Craft and Design and also at a local artist guild to learn weaving. These things will not only be life giving for me but also will serve the future purpose of Sari Bari as I continue in the role of Creative Director. The theme of my Sabbatical is beauty and I hope to spend my energy to create beautiful things as well as take advantage of the beauty of my surroundings.
Looking forward to this adventure!

Forever

Being at Sari Bari means practicing the art of hospitable interruption. Ten, twenty or thirty times a day, a woman will come to door of the Sari Bari office and call "didi, oh didi, ekta katha ache." (which means Sister, can i have a word). Most the time, the answer is of course. Sometimes I want to say no, because mostly these entrances come with conflict, family problem or heart breaking story, but love stretches far in listening ears.

so on monday, one of the Sari Bari women, a daughter, came in and immediately began crying, she was broken and hearing her story, i was broken. She has struggled and work very hard to keep herself out of the trade. Her mother worked in the trade and does even still but this woman, a mere 23, is a mother of 2 children and her husband left yet again for another woman. The most painful and tragic part is that he, her husband, said he would come back to her if she started working in the trade. She was and is devastated. I am devastated for her. She cried (i waited till later for my tears) and I held her.

I have a few responses: first, if i see her husband on the street, my urge would be to do physical violence (i won't) but that's my first human response to a man who has deeply, hurt my friend.

second, i am in awe of this woman and her strength, her desire and ability to maintain her resolve in the face of a future where the sole responsibility for raising her children will be hers. I celebrate her strength and a God who has given her the ability to stand in the midst of such a painful adversity. Pray that she would continue to be able to stand.

Finally, something she said struck me deeply (I have heard it before many, many times) , more deeply that ever before. I woke up this morning thinking about it. She said, "I am never going to leave Sari Bari, i am going to stay here forever and raise my children and make a good life. Where my family is broken i will find family here...this will be the place i build my life."

hearing this and continuing to reflect, i am overwhelmed. Because when i think of India and Sari Bari i would probably not use the word forever. I am committed, yes. i have no leave date in mind. I am here to embrace and be embraced by these women in this time and place. But forever? Sari Bari for many of the women is their future--it is their vocation--the creation of beauty (beautiful things and the blossoming beauty of who they are), to walk in freedom, to embrace hope and be fed by the hope they experience in the lives of others. For many of them it is forever.

so where is my forever? to be in Kolkata forever feels limiting, scary and impossible but maybe it is this place and among these people that i too might find the same possibility, hope and freedom that so many women at Sari Bari have found. I pray that i will have the courage to continue to let them lead me.

Advent Reflection from Melissa

Chaos. Advent Day 5.

2 December 2010

Melissa

Except for a few hours of Christmas music and sitting near Sarah’s Christmas tree on Thanksgiving Day- I haven’t thought of Christmas at all. In between hectic schedules, visits to the hospital to stay with my sick friend, Bangla lessons, and trying to clean up my bedroom (at least a little) - I haven’t taken a moment to sit with the mystery of God entering into our world, into my world.

Christmas feels far away. There wasn’t an Autum season to signal the coming of winter. There isn’t any snow (and there won’t be). We haven’t been able to decorate our flat yet. No evergreen tree with colorful lights. No advent candles have been lit. No space to breathe it in. And I wonder, how do I connect with the coming of Emmanuel this year? What does it look like to wait., to breathe deep, to long for his coming?

God with us. It melts my brain just a little. God entering into my world. Understanding the entire scope of my emotions. He comes as hope, even when I can’t see it. He comes as peace, even when my world is anything but peaceful. He comes as rest, even when rest seems impossible. This is what we celebrate. God becomes man. And it changes everything. I don’t understand it all - but I know it’s true.

Into my chaos, He comes.

Come Lord Jesus, Come.

Finding Restoration, Hope and Purpose

This morning for devos at sari bari, I asked a couple of questions. What has happened in your life since you came to sari bari? What are the dreams you have for the future? What do you hope will happen through Sari Bari in the future? The responses were hesitant at first. But they came with power and meaning. They spoke of finding freedom for the first time. Being able to see a future for themselves, wanting safe places for home and family. Jiya said that she hopes that there will be a Sari Bari in every red light area in Kolkata and 300 Sari Bari’s in India. Laxmi remarked that so many women are wandering in darkness still, they do not even know that they can have freedom. Her desire is for them to know what she knows for herself. Dreams we have dreamed for the women are now becoming the dreams of the women for the other women. At the end I asked a few more questions…how many of you have learned to sign your own name since you came here? More than half the women raised their hands. Clapping, clapping and losts of smiles. How many of you have learned to sew since you came here? More clapping. Again more than half the women—the rest knew something of how to sew when they came. And finally, how many of you have received freedom since working at Sari Bari? Almost every single woman raised their hands. Rousing applause.

Can we get an amen!