finally made it

so my travels were not so smooth. i got to delhi and my flight was delayed for 30 hours--yes my friends 30 hours!! i very much wanted to cry. they said we will put you up in five star hotel and i was like okay well is there anything else you can do and they said no. five star hotel is a nice idea but going home was a much better idea so when i was almost out the door i turned around and went back to the counter and said can you please put me on another airline and amazingly they did it! so i lost a whole day with my parents and arrived at 1130pm last night (14.5 hours late)--i was supposed to arrive at 9am yesterday morning. but if i had waited for my flight i would not have gotten here till a couple of hours ago. thankful that i got what i got! i least had 24 hours to regroup before heading to the retreat! so i am off tomorrow at 530 am to the airport for 10 days in nebraksa city! who hooo!

sad goodbyes on a good day

today was beautiful in so many ways...the sun was shining. i had sweet conversation with the ladies, got a ton done. even my failed attempt to pay the electric bill was nice...a nice walk, relaxing in its own way ( will try again tomorrow at the right time--apparent mostly everthing thing is open at 8am but the one place in needed).

our friend "a" is now out of the hospital and hopefully on her way to a good recovery. she needs to take care of herself..hard to tell someone this who is still in training and has dork of a husband. anyway, say a prayer for her!

it was a sad goodbye at sari bari. some of the ladies started crying. so heart wrenching...i think they think that i might not come back or something...though so far i come back every time. about 7 of them stood at the gate waving good bye. i have mental picture to take with me...though there is not a chance that i will forget them in the month that i am gone. they are going to have a fun outing next week on monday...it is a holiday and there is a mela (a fair) and so sari bari will close early and they will all go together for some tasty eats and silly rides and games...wishing i could with them.

i usually have a rough time the last couple weeks before leaving calcutta...the culture tends to get on my nerves but this time has been different...more like always. though i have smacked the hands of three seperate men and scolded them in the last three days...i still feel like i am in the culture and loving the reasons i am here...already looking forward to returning though i am certainly relishing the upcoming times with friends and family.

so tomorrow is it...i leave for the states. i will spend my last morning in the gach with a few friends i have not had a chance to see because things have been so busy. everything is packed...two full bags of sari bari products and one little bag just for me ( my carry on)!

SARI BARI PARTY IN ALTADENA

Hey there my blog stalking friends....if you are in the Los Angeles Area I will be having a little Sari Bari Party at my Aunt Mary's house. I am only in LA for a couple days so it will also be a good chance to see you! Also means you can buy a beautiful one of a kind Sari Bari Blanket and help woman on her road to freedom from the trade.

So if you are interested, here are the details:
(you have to email me for the address and phone number)

Date: July 25, 2007 (Wed.)

Time: 7:00 p.m.

lite refreshments

AND

a story of how Sari Bari was born !

looking forward

so things here are good. the sun is shining for the first time in 5 days and my laundry may actually dry before i depart of the states on tuesday. whoo hoo. I had a brain departure moment on friday when i actually could not articulate anything i wanted needed to say...i think i am just really tired and pushing myself to tuesday when i leave for the states for a month. however, yesterday i had an amazingly relaxed day and i packed and watched, without a trace (thanks bethie) on loan, and hung with meg and annie (visiting from omaha) and we watched amelie.

i got on the scale this week and i have lost 10 pounds about or 8 kgs. not sure how i did it. i was trying really hard this last couple months and nothing was happening. i kind of stopped...i think the last couple weeks i have stopped thinking about food much at all. maybe God heard my prayers for a thinner body :). anyway, happy to be little lighter. hopefully, i will not gain all back on chips and salsa and meat in the states.

i am sad to leave the sari bari ladies...esp.with the last week and half being so busy. i have spent all my time trying to get things done (many of which will still not be done when i leave) and have not had my usual sweet times of just sitting and talking, hearing their stories while they sew. i hope that is what my day tomorrow with be like...i have finished all the essentials and what is not getting done can wait till i get back.


so looking forward to being with my family. brats and corn on the cob and green salad is the first meal on the menu when i get home. yummmmmmmmmmy. , looking forward to hugging and kissing all my fleshy friends in omaha and talking on the phone while only being a state away instead of a world away. looking forward to long talk with my mom, my dad, my brother and sister, looking forward to at least one political discussion with my brother in law, looking forward to moments with daphne, adriana, steph, cami and faye. looking forward to new running shoes for the upcoming bombay marathon in january. and truly i am sure i will be looking forward to coming back into the sweaty damp arms of calcutta once my trip is all over...but more on that when the time comes.

stop global warming...stop this insane rain

yeah so now we are on day number 3 of heavy rain. yes it is monsoon here but this is not normal. having been through 5 of these rainy seasons...i have never seen park street knee deep, and see the water stay for more than a few hours but the city is just water logged! i am blaming it on global warming....things are getting worse not better. in ten years kolkata could be underwater when the ice caps finish melting as well as all of bangladesh. something to think about while driving an suv or taking an international flight (yep thats me).

not sure the first batch of sari bari purses are gonna make it. we are having sewing machine trouble and are in a time crunch. we see...also because the fabric we are having trouble not tearing the outside layer of the sari's. a bit frustrated by this to say the least...

on the bright side, i had a very happy 4th of july with my british and few american friends. we had garlic chicken, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, fruit salad and ice cream for dessert. yummy and fun!

oh the yucky streets the rain brought

wow--yesterday was crazy! the rain was really, really bad. everywhere i went i had to wade through water, by our house, park street--the whole street about a mile long to the hospital--was knee deep, by freeset too i had to wade. it was super gross...dead rats, dead crows, nasty dead bugs plus who knows was else. i had to heat up water and take a hot shower last night to scrub all that yucky stuff off my legs. i actually can not complain because so many of our friends had this nastiness in their houses because the water got so high. it rained really hard again last night, i hope there i not a repeat today.

oh the rain

its raining...the hard and long rain that floods the streets here. i have already had 3 calls this morning about houses being flooded with dirty water in kalighat and not being able to leave home because of the streets. i am delaying my trip to pay the electric bill, wading through knee deep water to pay a bill does not sound appealing. i am going to wait to brave it until i have too.

our friend and sari bari lady, A (choto), is in the hospital. I had to take her last week on thursday after making an emergency trip to the village because she had not been at work for a week and her sister gave us news that she was dying. this turned out to be a bit of an exaggeration...she was not dying but very sick! also not one was looking after her so she was not eating...her husband is an alcholic and abusive... so with the help of one of the other ladies i got her to the hospital and she is there now getting tested for everything imaginable. she is a bit lonely and sad right so pray for her. they only allow visitors 2 hours a day. i am heading there this morning to spend some time with her and hopefully be an encouragement. i will brave the flooded streets for her but not for the electric bill!

payday is kinda rough sometimes. i think the ladies stress about money comes out in crappy attitudes. yesterday was a really hard day. i get blamed alot for their hard circumstances...i am hoping this is because we all have a tendancy to take out our anger on those closest to us. at the end of the day things worked out though...i received some unprompted apologies. pray for our sari bari ladies...they are getting a huge raise this month that we hope will help out...not only be a fair wage but a kingdom wage...a wage that can bring them out of poverty.

i am getting excited about my trip to the states. the WMF staff retreat will be sweet reunion with so many friends...i told myself i would not buy any gifts but i am having a hard time when i see something nice for someone i love saying no. also so excited to see and meet my new neice and play hungry hippos with grace and hug and love on my brother and sister. one more week and a day i will be in the arms of my mom and dad at the airport!!

catalyst, english george and other oddities

So i have read to pretty darn good books in the last week and they are like a confirmation or maybe inspiration to my heart. The first is The Starfish and the Spider: the power of leaderless organization and the second is the seven day weekend. They are profoundly helping my define my vision for sari bari....i mean last week before kristin and beth left i had a little vision casting moment and i continue to be exicited about all the possiblities of doing business different, for the kingdom, for the women. i think what i want to be and maybe what i might be is the catalyst, that little spark that gets things started but once the reaction is started something bigger and even more amazing happens. i can see how adapting an even more into a cheerleader, encourager, developer will open so many doors for the ladies in the future..we are talking hundreds of women here who could have freedom. i really need to dedicate a whole blog to this topic but i am tired so maybe tomorrow...inspired but tired.

english george is here. making my life amazing to say the least. he has been here one day and he did the dishes 3 times and swept the kitchen floor. he says i am not allowed to do the dishes while he is here. we made dinner together tonight....yummy dahl and roti with mistis for desert. it is so nice to have a friend around...especially a guy friend who is a posh brit who makes me laugh but who i have no interest in romantically. he is quite refreshing and engaging...with kristin and beth already in the states it makes for a little less lonely and alot more fun.

i am hosting a 4th of july party on wednesday. this is strange if you know me...i will not elaborate except to say that i am ironically celebrating the day with a bunch brits and one other american.

i am finally meeting with the freeset folks to discuss shipping so this might be the last time i have to lug home 100 pounds of sari bari stuff which will include about 25 bags. the first batch. pretty much guessing that they will go super fast...have not posted pictures on the SB blog...so you will just have to wait and see them when they arrive in july via my personal slave labor of dragging 50 blankets plus the bags from kolkata to dehli to chicago to fort wayne to omaha to lax...

i am in good mood...feel rested after the weekend even though i still worked. had two Sari bari ladies over on sat to help with the tags. this has actually been a funny process because they can not read the tags so we have been having a problem with things being the right direction. i love the sari bari ladies...they are an amazing gift in my life and i really do not go a day that i do not marvel at them and how far they have come...life being made new. mine through theirs, theirs through mine, ours through jesus.

i will write a full on blog on sarah the catalyst soon!

Tea Plantation in Darjeeling

June Kolkata Field Prayer Requests

Sari Bari

1. We are still having problems with our landlord at Sari Bari. He told us before that we had to leave but has now asked for a higher rent. Please pray for discernment and favor. We want to do want his best for the ladies and the business.

2. Please pray for the two of the women at Sari Bari who we have just given some leadership too. They have been with us for over a year now and have asked them to help out with teaching sewing and other duties. Please pray for their development and a willingness to learn and serve.

3. We are also taking on three new women this month. Please pray for them as they make this decision to make steps toward freedom from the trade. Pray they would be welcomed at Sari Bari with open arms.

4. We are also in need of a good used sari source. Please pray that we would find a cost effective and consistent source of used saris.

5. Please pray for unity in all of Sari Bari’s partnership with other organizations. Please pray for humility and wisdom for all of us.

6. Continue to pray for the women of Sari Bari. The new trainees only have two months left. This past month was the first month they worked full-time and were paid by the piece. Please pray that the trainees would continue to persevere and move forward. Please pray for unity among the new trainees and the original three ladies.

7. Please pray for two women specifically. The first, C, is a new trainee who has decided to leave Sari Bari due to time constraints. Please pray that she would come back. Also pray for B who has been having major family and money issues. Pray healing over her and her families’ brokeness.

Brothel Ministry

1. Please to continue to pray for N. She has made steps to leave the trade despite her mother’s disapproval. She has been working full-time at our friend’s business for the past week. She has a long and amazing road ahead of her so please hold her close.

2. Please continue to pray for P and her family. This month we will find out whether or not the kids get accepted to boarding school. We are also exploring options for P and her daughter G to get the best treatment for HIV. Pray for open doors. Pray for P. She is so lost and hurt. Pray that she would have freedom.

3. Please lift up the ladies of our sub-unit of Sari Bari located near Sonagachi. Pray for transformation of their hearts and minds. Pray for a leader to emerge from among them.

4. Please pray for our good friend C, R, and S. Recently C was able to come see our friend’s business and be interview. She wants to work there but many factors including her mother R are stopping her. Please Pray for their freedom

5. We have recently been looking at renting a building across the street from the Gatch. Our vision is to open a half-way home as well as Sari Bari in the Gatch. We are in the beginning stages so pray for discernment and favor.

Staff

1. Please pray that God would raise up more Bengali staff workers. We feel like in order to move forward in our ministry we must first be able to hire more workers. Pray that God would bring Christian men and women to come along side the people of the red-light areas.

2. The servant team leaves the middle of this month. Please pray that God’s grace would abound as they make the transition back to the states. Pray that God would bring together all that they have seen and experienced while being here in India.

3. Continue to pray for our amazing Indian staff: Kiran, Upendra and Gita. Pray that God would continue to grow in them servant leadership skills and intimacy with Him.

Sari Bari has tags

Sari Bari now has cloth tags. If you want to see the tags click here!

homesick but still happy

Just got the "community" issue of the cry and was crying by page six. i am thankful to be apart of such an amazing community...both in kolkata with all the north americans and bengalis, who women who prositute and are prostituted and our beautifully free friends at sari bari and Freeset; as well as, a community of the friends around the world that complete the whole of WMF.

i am coming off a rough, refining but really good week. a week that has reminded my exactly how hard community can be....how hard walking with women who are deeply wounded can be...i am hyper aware of my own brokeness and fraility (this could be hormonal or just the way it is after a week like this). I am also aware of how long a road it is that i am walking.

i had my first real bought of homesickness in a long time on monday. enough to leave me weeping and tender in prayer with the women at Sari Bari. these women are my beautiful, broken, sometimes a pain in my patooty family and i love them and i am thankful that they let me cry it out and explain later. i had this awful longing to be with my own family, to see my parents and talk and talk and talk and meet me neice and hold my sisters hand and babysit my neice, to go out with my brother and be embaced in a hug as only he can give one. i was counting the cost...the cost of being here. the costs are big...but i really do not think about it much most of the time. i do not think to hard because i know i am in the perfect place right at this moment doing what i was made to do...but i still think about it. my sister had a baby this week and i am 10,000 miles away. i live in a place where there is not much male companionship to speak of and the men i do encounter try to take a piece of me rather than share my friendship. so i counted the cost, cried, wept, smiled in my tears and thanked God for my families both blood and chosen. i have only lost my life to gain it really...i know this to be the truth.

i had a big fight with one of the ladies at SB who seems to have a major problem taking personal responsiblity for her actions. it seems logical to me to ask that she see the past and change things for the future. but i am and was gravely mistaken. you can not enter into a reasonable conversation with someone who can not be reasonable. i learned alot in this conflict...alot about grace. alot about myself and how my hyper or false responsibility can be disempowering to others. i had to apologize to all the ladies for losing my temper and battle self loathing for the rest of the day but i think good things are coming. not the least of which is better boundaries.

we had an amazing gift of day on saturday as our team hosted a day out for the ladies at sari bari. we went bowling and did the bumper cars. it is always beautiful to see their joy and wonder at something new. they loved it and we loved it with them.

i love my newest neice addy. i love kristin and beth for letting me verbally process all my drama. i love that i learning to have kingdom boundaries..learning to say no and yes and you decide. i love skype because i do not feel so far away when i get to talk to someone. i love that moonsoon started and it cooler albeit more humid but bearable because of the wind. i love cold drinks and a new issue of the cry. i love playing the guitar after 2 years and remembering G C D and a lame attempt at lord i lift you name on high. i love that we are going to darjeeling on friday for 3 days for a break and are going to dig deep into each others hearts and love each other better on the other side.

Two neices and one beautiful sister

Well i am now the aunt of a second niece...addison patrice 8lb7oz 19.5 inches. I love being an aunt! i love that my sister is a mom! i so happy and so sad at the same time. sad because i wish i did not have to wait 2 months to meet this little wonder! anyone notice how stunned gracies looks...oh the glories and horrors of being the big sister!! i am sure she will be an amazing one like her aunt sarah!!

115 degrees!

need i say more!

natural ac

oh the wind...the beautiful wind!! it has been wicked hot all week long. 5 days of no rain. today was 102 with ridiculous humidity and tomorrow and the rest of the week will be 104 with obscene humidity. i am not complaining. just stating how it is... we have a decent may this year...rain every 2 or 3 days so right now things are getting a bit painful. thankfully tonight we had this amazing wind blow in, probably at least 30 miles an hour at some points...the rain has not shown up yet but i am still hoping! the wind cooled things down enough to where i might actually sleep tonight after a couple of nights of not so much sleep happening.

everyone is gone off to bangalore and south india for the week so me and kristin are holding down the fort here for the next week. that means so long days but i am exited for our bengali staff to see WMF in the south india and get a little perspective on what others are doing in india. plus for upendra and gita this was their first time on the plane!!

just watched 300 for the 2nd time. not sure extactly why i like that movie so much except i think that i reminds of what is like to be here a bit...a small band of people committed to the end fighting a seemingly impossible cause. i hate the violence but i love the heart!!

here's hoping for some rain tonight to keep it cool enough to sleep well!

The Bright Field by RS Thomas

I have seen the sun break through to a illuminate a small field for a while, and gone on my way and forgotten it. But that was the pearl of great price, the field that had the treasure in it. I realize now that i must give all i have to possess it, life is not hurrying on to a receding future, nor hankering after an imagined past. It is the turning aside like moses to the miracle of the lit bush, to a brightness that seemed as transitory as your youth once, but is eternity that awaits you.

number 299

this is my299th post...mmmm....so much said and still more to say. but mainly all i want to say is that life is good. that conflict can be good when it sharpens, humbles and draws you closer to that other person and God.

going a personal retreat/ vision brainstorming thing for 2 days this week. i feel really free right now...weird cuz i usually feel all this pressure to take care of everything...maybe God is helping me out that false responsiblity jacket i wear most of the time.

i just want say i love talking on the phone with dear friends, i love surprising genorosity, i love that "rich christians in an age of hunger" can still rip peoples faces off, i love that upendra and gita are healthy again and that gita gave me this enormous hug without words today, i love that my parents are following their dreams and that maybe their dreams might have them living in a trailer park, i love kristin's passion and beth's heart of justice, i love staying up way to late but enjoying the time to myself, i love being in kolkata, i love that now both my brother and my sister are living in seattle...i love that maybe when i am 37 i might run an ultamarathon, i love that i think i could do it (anyone want run with me??) i love that all things old can be made new, i love that people love the dream we have for sari bari. yes, that my friends is alot of love!!

Blah

just had a conflict over something that could be stupid or everything that is truth. i am trying not to be hurt or angry...i am trying to learn how to have the right boundaries about the right things but i must say i am struggling. i am not happy to always be saying sorry...i am a jerk. i am not happy about being blamed...and to top it off i am probably the worst because i blame myself. i am not happy about being an adult right at this moment. i want everything to be easy...i want to be an easy person to live with, not the chaotic, extreme drama that is me. i am no picnic but darn it i wish i were...i wish i was one of the girls that you use descriptors like gentle and sweet with...instead i have descriptors like extreme and timely. so blah!!

blah and yuck! all this just when i am trying to get back on my feet on many levels... just saying earlier i feel like i am being refined, well i guess thats true. just not the path i would choose to get there. i do hate conflict...sometimes i wish i could stop myself from speaking. so blah, blah, blah.

i think i am up for a long night of no sleep and a day of waiting for resolution. maybe God could make me a different person in the meantime. so now i am waiting, hoping god will kick my little booty into shape and convict my crappy little heart if and as much as needed between now and whenever.

my favorite things

so yesterday was my birthday and the theme was "favorite things". kristin and beth thought of the theme and started off my birthday weekend with the song from the sound of music...

so i thought i would share a few of my favorite things from this weekend...

talking with my dad and mom on skype on my birthday while i am in india and they are in seattle and fort wayne respectively. technology is beautiful thing

sweet encouraging cards, my space comments and emails from amy, aunt mary, julie, brent, faye, david, silas and denise.

beautiful gifts of my favorite things: a pink scarf, a gold nose ring with danglys, doritos all the way from america, new flip flops, a target gift card, candles and a bottle of wine, sparkly jewelry from the sari bari ladies (how spoiled am i!!)

being able to pull off a gold nose ring with danglys, i feel kinda exotic.

being loved really well by kristin and beth. i felt known and celebrated.

steak sandwich and french fries in a freezingly air conditioned hotel

being able have so many people share in my life and have the opportunity to share in theirs...esp. have to say that celebrating with the saribari ladies might be my favorite new birthday tradition...if two years and running can be a tradition.

i love that my dad still thinks i am a princes and sent me a blinking tiara and a beautiful candle holder. I love that we both choose beauty over logic!!

loving the goodness

I love the unexpected goodness that happens here sometimes. the only thing i have hope for is the ladies transformation and strangely i am always overwhelmed and surprised when i actually get to see the fruits of hope. the hope that we share for the ladies and the hope that is growing in their hearts for themselves. We had a celebration yesterday at sari bari for Gita who did the public declaration thing with water (yes i am being cryptic). she shared with the ladies what she did and why and the process of being transformed...(gita's big day pic with us and the team on the left) it was mesmerizing but even more powerful was the spontaneous testimony from one of the other ladies about how much she has been transformed and renewed. she said how she never before was able to choose her own path, she always was on a bad path full of suffering but she said now that she is on a good path and she can see how God has been with her an answering her prayers. everyone started weeping, a few women in particular really were moved by her word and what they have seen. one of the ladies, maybe our toughest, could not even speak because of tears. it was really beautiful to have a chance to again remind them that they are beautiful and beloved. and that there can be new life that springs from the darkest most of awful places. i got choked up several time as i tried to translate and then when i was encouraging everyone at the end...i was overwhelmed by the goodness of God and his presence in this very dark place. and then to top it off one of ladies who had TB (see previous blog post)came back from one of many, many doctor visits and said that they could no longer find any evidence of TB...her treatment has not even been started. All the tests said she had it. I wrote about this lady earlier and how she was so afraid of the hospital and how we all gather around her and prayed. I can not doubt that God healed her and that it was revealed at the perfect time when we were all already blown away by Gods goodness...

its kinda crazy but in the last year I feel like i have seen many, many people rescued and healed because of the prayers of so many. to name a few: paki returned safely after being trafficked, my dad being healed of a heart problem, beth being healed of a thyroid thing and now "A" being healed of TB. Some of you might be thinking this is crazy talk but i might after all i have seen in kolkata be crazy enough to believe that God is so much bigger than we think he is...every woman who come out the sex trade is a miracle. how can i help myself from believing them...they are the very thing i long for...the radical redemption, tranformation and healing of God's beloved. we have to believe in the impossible, we have to dream for things we will never see, we have to proclaim the good of God in suffering. otherwise, no one else will have the courage believe it for themselves...and we are seeing the evidence hope. and so we continue to hope for "P" and her daughter "g"...we hope for their healing from HIV, we hope for their freedom from the trade and we believe that God will hear our cries on their behalf and answer.

i heard a speaker recently speaking to young people and he made a grave mistake...he told them what they might not become, how God may or may not use them for great things. I was shaking in my seat...if we tell people that they can not change the world then they might not, if we do not tell and show people how to have hope for themselves, then yes they fail. but if we tell then that God might use them greatly and to dream for things they will never see...wow, the world might be a different place.

loving the goodness, believing for things i will never see, and promising to never stop proclaiming the HOPE that i have in Jesus for the world...because the dreams that God has given are coming true...so now i guess I have to dream bigger and get discouraged when do not see the goodness as i did yesterday.

so i am gonna off my pedestal now...