culture shock, flying cockroaches and beautiful community

yeah, so even though was still in asia, returning to kolkata has been a bit rough. i think the issue is more in my mind than anything else...the reality is still the same. that i want to be here and live my life with these women is still the same but i am tired and a somewhat easily irritated by stupid little things. it is possible that there is the hormonal stuff going on a well but i hated to blame it all on that....

yesterday, i gave myself permission to take it slow....i still spent the day at sari bari but not in my usual full on way. i basically felt like crap, so i laid on the floor for a couple of hours and just talked to the ladies. i am really glad i did because that gave me the energy to have a really wonderful afternoon with all the trainees. i have a hard time not pushing myself through being sick or down or whatever but it seems it only hurts me and those around me. i think i am going to try to do better at the discipline of rest and slowness because i end up being a much nicer person in the end.

one of the ladies at sari bari has TB. we knew when we hired her that she had had it in the past but she said she was all better. none the less, we wanted to double check and make sure because if one has TB they could all get TB and that would be horrible. well after the tests, it turns out that she still has active TB in her right lung and needs to undergo treatment in the hospital. so the plan was that she would be admitted yesterday to a pretty good but low cost TB hospital in k-town. when it was time to go she just started crying...so so sad. i realized that she thought she might not see everyone again...that she might die. she went around and was saying goodbye to everyone personally inspite of the fact that we promised regular visits and that we would be standing by her side in this whole process. it was heart breaking really and it ended up being a beautiful moment as the ladies began to gather around her and give encouraging positive words...it was a beautiful expression of community, of our sari bari family being a family. we ended up on the floor laying our hands on her and praying for her...some of the ladies reaching out to lay a hand with me and kiran. it was really amazing and the peace that seemed to come on her was beautiful. this woman is the newest trainee and started late and from the begining there was some ladies who were not her biggest fan but it was these same ladies who brought her comfort and encouragement. she came back from the hospital a couple hours later and it turns out she will be admitted today so it was kind weird to go through all that and then have her back again to sew but maybe just what she needed to see...that she is apart of of us...our friend, our sister, our family.

we are learning alot here about integration. lots of new good things are going to be happening the next month as we seek to bring a deeper level of community and accountablity into all of our relationships. we are seeking to integrate everything...it will be a challenge but i think ultimately a beautiful expression of the body working together....pray for us and for our bengali team.

and oh yes, the other night while i was talking to my mom on the phone, this huge flying cockroach came in my room...and i started freaking out. i hate cockroaches, yes, i know i live in kolkata and they are everywhere but i still hate them and what i hate even more is killing them. i hate the crunch!! so when i got off the phone i realized that i could not go to bed with this thing in my room...what if it flew and landed on me while i was sleep...eekkkkkkk!! so i brandished my trusting flip flop and killed the little bugger on the first try! still hate killing them but it was going to be him or me sleeping somewhere else...i decided he needed to go.