Saturday, November 01, 2008

finding life

where do we go to live? has life lived us or are we living full. i see the life around me in a small town and wonder are they happy. Are they alive? I am wondering if I am drinking the cup today? to the it's depths stun me, humiliate me, bless me. Am i alive today? Or is my worry living me. Is there letting go in living? i am wandering through my leave of absence struggling to feel alive. in part i feel detached from my heart, my still beats in india for freedom, for my beloved community. i feel isolated and lonely, waiting for my heart to beat in this waiting, this worry. not sure how break free of the dungeon of over responsibility i have created for myself. i feel alive when i run, when my hands create, when my heart loves deeply, when fear of acceptance does not rule me. i feel alive when Jesus holds me, when i let Him. I feel alive when i drink from the cup of my life to the dregs...

So today a toast to the dregs! May we all live full, alive, and open to the beating hearts within us!