Friday, July 28, 2006

Psalms in my heart today

Two Psalms of 23

My side…
God is my kind and compassionate protector and defender, there is nothing that I want that he can not give me

He touches my heart with beauty in the unexpected places of Kolkata and gives me quietness of the heart even in the chaos of the streets

He rebuilds the ruins of my broken heart, he teaches me how to walk so I will not stumble down the cluttered alleyways and he does it so I will thank him.

Even when I walk down the hopeless, life stealing lanes of Sonagacchi, I will not consider hope to be lost because I am not alone and I know they are not alone. His presence and power free me and will free them.

He uses time drinking tea with a woman who prostitutes to lavish his excessive love as we sit side by side with brothel owners, traffickers and the customers who steal all the good things from the hearts of my friends. And in all this I am deeply transformed and I overflow in unexpected ways.

I will never doubt that God is good and that His love is lavished on me eternally and I will continue to be with Him and He with me beyond time.

The other side…
She is alone with no one to protect and defend her. She is in desperate need and so so alone.

She lays down in darkeness and her hearts screams are never silent.

Her insides are wracked in fear and torment. The only path before her is to lay down again and let it happen. And not one person know’s her pain more deeply than Jesus but she does not know He is there.

She stands on the line waiting on the edge of hell and lust, greed and fear pervade the air she breaths. She is always afraid but He is still with her. Memories of home imagined or real give her little relief…she thinks that there is no one who will save her from this daily darkness.

She squats before her kerosene stove hoping maybe it will blow up so will not have to continue to live with her enemies and her masters. She is the only one who gives, everyone takes, they take everything she has and everything she is from the inside out. Only bitterness pours from her eyes…

Most definitely, there is nothing good about this life and she knows that no one truly loves her. She thinks she is alone but He is still with her. And He will be with her until one of His people comes to show her the way out and after that He will be with her beyond all things ending.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Do not miss this...

A friend of the Calcutta people, John Sinclair from New Zeland has made a documentary aboutFreeset called Calcutta Hilton. Freeset is the company near Sonagachi where we take women to have alternative emplyment sewing jute bags. It is really really really good. They have some amazing shots of Sonagachi and have actually filmed some girls we know. Its a great documentary. It tell about the life of the founders ofFreeset as well as some of the women's stories. Please please watch it and tellall your friends about it. It will be on Link TV on July 24 at 12:00 and is the link that showsthe time and explains the doco further. I don't know how avliable link TV is but i heard about 60 million have access to watch it.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I hear Beautiful Voices....

My Friend Amy Cole just put out this new CD. It is a unique and cool update on some pretty sweet hymns. You can preview the songs and buy the CD at and also check out her website Also if you are an can find her on Itunes and download the goodness.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Wisdom from my sister

I have been a little discouraged about God's goodness but these word are a good reminder today. they made me cry in the email place...something i really hate to do!!

"Jesus said there are times when God cannot lift the darkness from you, but you should trust him. At times God will seem like an unkind friend, but he is not; He will appear like an unnatural father, but he is not; He will appear like an unjust God, but he is not. Keep the thought that God is behind all things strong and growing. Not even the smallest detail of life happens unless God's will is behind it. THEREFORE, YOU CAN REST IN PERFECT CONFIDENCE IN HIM!"

Darjeeling Pics...Yes we saw these mountains!!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

just wanna say...

that i am okay. i have had some concerned emails...but really the struggle is part of getting all the good stuff. so just pray for us. going for some KFC after the Gach today...that should be yummy and fun! i think it is weird to be excited about KFC since i never ever ate it in the states.


Saturday, July 08, 2006

wrestling and begging

i want the kingdom to come now...this week on wednesday i found myself on my knees begging God to give freedom to our friends and break the chains that are holding them so fast. chains of poverty, chains of injustice, chains of fear, chains of literal slavery and death...i do not know if any of you have every entertained the idea of wrestling with God but dude i felt agressive...i want it now and i am tired of waiting. i begged God in prayer as i circled him with my demands. And like most wrestling matches with God (i guess we only know about one for sure) i left with a limp and some humility but i also feel like i left with some of prayers answered and my faith increased. because God let me battle it out with him, question him, and demand what He has already promised some pretty amazing things have happened in the last week in the gach and there has also been some hard stuff but even in that we are coming out on the other side and we are able to say God did that for us and he did it for our friend mitu and maybe today for our friend china.

this morning we did a community devotion on faith and one of the questions was why in so many of jesus' miracles was the healing dependant on the faith of someone. i do not want what God does in kolkata to be dependant on my faith. my faith is weak and lame to be sure. but i sure do want what God has to give for the women of sonagacchi and it seems as though that is gonna really take a alot of faith. so i guess you could say for the past week i have been having a crisis of faith...not really about whether i believe in God but if i believe he is big enough to heal and redeem what i see here everyday. anyway, back to today, as i reflected on that question, i realized that God wants us to participate in the miracle, you kind of in some ways have to work for miracles (hopefully he includes wrestling and begging as work). You have to believe for them...he asks you to believe before he does it and so he gets the glory and we can not say i did that or they did that...we have to say He did it. he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants but he wants us to be apart of making it happen by believing Him and being his hands and his feet.

this last week i have often found myself at the end of myself but i am also finding that as i continue to wrestle and beg and He is doing miracles in the lives of friends. mitu is once step closer to freedom and china might have freedom today and Rina and Rina are learing to read and who know where that will lead. and upendra and gita are understanding accountablity and forgiveness and love...and all these things really are miracles and for all these things we are giving God the glory in Kolkata today.

Friday, July 07, 2006

quitting is for quitters

today is one of those days when i would like to quit everything. everything seems hard and frustrating and like tears are the most reasonable reponse to most of lifes problems. mostly i am sure all my extremism...because that is what i am being today....melodramatic and hyper in touch with my own crap. sounds fun huh? more soon ona better day....