Saturday, July 09, 2011

on "be"ing here...

Sitting here in my sweet neighborhood in Portland, OR, minutes from great food and drink, enjoying the quiet. Yesterday, first time in a month, I felt a little lonely. Still looking for a church community and still letting my introverted socially ackward nature get the best of me most days. (except Monday’s when I go to a Drink and Draw …it’s a bar where you can draw costumed models) I think I knew this would happen…the tired restlessness of facing the next step of letting going is overwhelming me. Pursing beauty and rest easier and harder than I thought.

Harder…even rest takes discipline. So does creating and seeking/seeing beauty. Creation takes commitment, discipline, willingness to fail or maybe willingness to allow what is created to not be appreciated (learning to let this false sense of internal disapproval go is hard).

Easy…this Oregon, beauty is everywhere. I live in a comfortable beautiful home.

Sabbatical so far has mostly been good days. Discovered that though I longed and hoped for a trip to Italy at the end of my sabbatical to discover beauty there…it is not worth working 10-20 hours a week. So no real part time job for me.

My first week of just “be”ing…opened my eyes. I began to write and sew and the flood gates began to open. It was then that I saw a job would destroy the possibilities. So I may help cater a few weddings—there is no commitment—I can say no. And I got accepted as an extra this summer/ fall for Portlandia (just google and watch theYou Tube clips to see what it is). If they call it will be fun and surely something to tell stories about and maybe an opportunity to use my socially ackward return to American culture in my favor. And Italy will happen another season but not this one.

I’ve got sweet memories created and stored away after getting to spend birthday’s with two of my nieces. Holding new niece number 4 is not any less special that holding niece number 1, 2 or 3. They are all simply gorgeous and amazing.

On overdoing it: it’s me Sarah Lance and yes, sometimes I can go a little crazy and over do it. I admit it. And admit to you now that I have not one but two stress fractures in my left foot…due to increasing my mileage too fast when training for the Portland marathon. So I am wearing a boot for the next 3 weeks—one week already completed. So even my marathon will require slow…looks like I will be walking most of it. So so slow and simple is how I am keeping it. Joined a gym and I am swimming my way to fitness or at least trying to…

I am getting into snail email and loving being less connected on email. If you want to write me a letter you can do so at the following address, and I will write you back!

Sarah Lance

2803 SE 48th Ave

Portland, OR97206

I am not blogging much here but you can find me at during sabbatical and see what creative endeavors I am up to…cooking, sewing, thifting and gardening etc.