More on sarifice and the consuming...

Yesterday, my thoughts were pretty jumbled and not really clear...i kind of verbally started processing but did not really finish till we left the email cafe. So i have continued thinking about what specifically i am called to sacrifice and what that means i will not consume in the choice to sacrifice. The obvious sacrifice is that i have left my family and my friends for a life that does not hold any tangible comforts but offers so much in other ways. it is, has been and will continue to be a sacrifice to be away from my family, to have neice that does not know me...but i make this choice not to "consume" because i am seeking to be obedient to the call Jesus has placed on my life. and truly Jesus requires obedience not sacrifice...but still sacrifce can be apart of being obedient.

On the whole choosing not to consume thing...i think that the temptation for me and maybe for many of us is to consume instead of allowing christ to fill us up. the empty place in my heart crys out for something and i often will choose to fill them with food or something new or a good cheap novel instead of the one thing that i will find truly filling and fufilling. I think i said yesterday that what i consume creates a false identity but actually i think what i consume outside of the context of obedience is something to creates a dividing wall between myself and God. I attempt to satisfy what God is waiting to fill with things that will never completely give me long term comfort and satisfaction. So i will choose not consume certain things for the sake of my relationship with jesus and because i do love him and want to be with him.

hopefully, that is more clear...