The end of the experiment

The experiment is over but my life is changed. I think, hope and believe. I still find my hands willing to stay open and ready to give. My heart has changed. I feel more open to kolkata, to see the suffering than i have for a long time. I turned around yesterday when i walked past an old man and gave him something. He did not look like a beggar or an addict, he just looked desperate. I wondered what he was doing begging...he must have been really desperate. he seemed more like a villager, with some grave need, i did not have reason not to give so i turned around and gave. i hope i can stay soft, ready to respond, i let the rupees linger, collecting on the bottom of my purse ready for whomever God send across my path. we all need mercy and to be seen. i know after the last week, i need mercy. i need mercy. thankful today that i am beginning for the first time in my life to understand undeserved grace, beautiful mercy.