nobody wants pain

You know you have been wounded so deeply by a person that you can barely breathe right when you think of them....you remember the love your enemies thing, and the desire, the hope, even the ache to be able to fully forgive. but the wound still smarts and stings with pain, healing never really happened because there was not reconcilliation. Over the last years, i have learned alot about forgiving the debt, having been forgiven my own debt over and over. and seeing the women forgive those who have trafficked them, seeing the women forgive the culture which binds them...they are my light, my leaders in forgiveness. Sometimes, as much as, we may want an apology, my might not get it but forgiveness still has to happen. I am in a place where i need to really forgive someone who really, really hurt me and i am weepy to think of having to see this person, to be kind, to turn the other cheek allowing for the possibility that they might strike again. i guess you could say I am afraid. afraid of judgement, afraid of my own anger, afraid of being walked on if open the door again. I told beth yesterday, i choose everyday to forgive but nothing has made this particular hurt less painful, or me feel less vulnerable to being hurt again. I think i feel mostly broken and broken hearted and i am trusting God for his miraculous grace, his healing and his ability to set me in the presence of those who might hurt me or those i love and not fear.

I often think that living here in Kolkata has a tendancy to expose me in a way that nothing else can in the world. it also has a way of healing me, teaching me and changing me for the good like nothing else can... I sometimes think if i did not live here, if this was not my call, my vocation, my dream then i would not have to drink this cup of suffering. which might be true, but i also know that in that cup, that beautiful cup of suffering is great joy. so i am holding out for joy and redemeption and reconcilliation.

Off the radar

So I am not very good at traditions. Jumping back into life here is never easy...there is no slow road. it is in or out, full on or not. there is never any half way. kristin describes at a full course meal 3 times a day(and you do not really like what is being served) when sometimes all you really want is salad. it is not just being back at work but squeezing myself onto the crowded metro and the horns, the horns, the horns. the emotions of sadness, joy and some fear all mixed together. The suffering never makes sense, whether i am far away or near and coming face to face again always is a little harsh. the needs never go away, there is aways a conflict to mediate, a teachable moment or a person who needs a hug or a hand. And then all the tasks, the tasks are on top of the emotions. so i have been off the radar, trying to get back on my proverbial feet. i am almost there, unpacked and ready to put my suitcases away. ready for routine and ready to more forward beyond the amazing vacation days to the these days before me.

we have lots of fun things in the days ahead. kyle, a former servant team member and way amazing person, comes wednesday to start three years with us and then we have a team from the states for weeks which is includes some of the coolest people i know...the heuertz's and amanda and chad knihal and then some i do not know...amey and leah who will be interns with me for about a month...i am expecting them to be cool too!

Sari Bari Stuff Available NOW!

Our latest shipment has finally arrived--long-awaited bags, baby
blankets and throws!!
Click on the links below to see what's available.

bags are $24.00
http://picasaweb.google.com/saribariindia/BagsAprilShipment?authkey=Ta9NulQB424">
baby blankets (aprox. 36 x 36) are $35.00
http://picasaweb.google.com/saribariindia/BabyBlanketsAprilShipment?authkey=e_qAA-Uprok

regular sized throws (aprox.34 x 80) are $58.00
http://picasaweb.google.com/saribariindia/BlanketsAprilShipmentToStates?authkey=0pIjHF0wBLI
xl throws (aprox. 50 x 80) are $100.00
http://picasaweb.google.com/saribariindia/XLThrowsAndBedspreadAprilShipment?authkey=p4h_WjXbajU

(+ tax for those of you who live in TN and NE)

Shipping Costs:
$5.50 for the first bag OR
$7.00 for the first blanket
+ $4.00 for each additional item

If you would like to make a purchase, please email melinda@saribari.com
indicating your preferences by number. As always, items tend to sell quickly so you may want to list several options or state no preference and let us pick an
available beauty for you!

We will reply to your e-mails as quickly as possible to confirm your
sale and to let you know your total.

Checks can be made out to Word Made Flesh and sent to:

Sari Bari
P.O. Box 56
Omaha, NE 68101

All payments should be received by Friday June 27th and all products ordered
will be shipped the next day, June 28th via USPS 2-day priority mail.

Thank you for your support of Sari Bari and for making life-giving freedom
for many women possible!!

There and back again...