thoughts on off the radar

so i am off the radar so to speak. Trying to rest,to be, struggling without my "do" in place. I keep checking my email and facebook and this blog that i have not written on in months. i am missing bethie and kolkata and the ladies...they stay in the back of mind everyday as i wake up late because i stayed up late and as i crochet my way to happiness. so far this week, i have made dinner a couple of times, climbed on the roof to attach the cable for the TV antenna (my heart is still beating fast), peeled some apples on an amazing contraption, watched half an oprah, caught up on gray's, still catching up on lost from last year and had a starbucks coffee with my mom at the grocery store. i am weirded out by everything being so clean and accessible. I am wondering about a recession when i all can see is excess things and choices (not minimizing people struggles just trying to get my mind around it after being in india). i judge myself and my own desire for a trip to target (i am in the recesses of the oregon wilderness, i know this because the nearest target is an hour away). it's my first week off the radar and i am learning to slow but i am not slow yet, my neck still pulls to the right when i get an email about work (lord help me). I want to let go or lay it all down so to speak so i can take it up again in a healthier fuller better way, make sense? So next week will be planned rest in the beauty of the oregon wilderness, maybe moving toward something will help me move away in a good way toward true rest. ahhhh...