To be lived

I grew believing that worship was something to sung but I think worship is something to be lived.

I realize that I have a problem with singing Not a problem with God being good or deserving praise but the unreconcilable reality that sometimes my worship is not honest. My most honest worship in the last year has been full of lament…so it feels like I am not doing it right. I do not feel good or happy or joyful but I do desire God and do desire to be honest in my worship. I actually do not really want to sing much. I have veered toward the liturgical prayers of some saints and believers who expressed their worship in a different way. My confession is worship. My broken heart can weep for a day and it can be worship. My love for the ladies at Sari Bari can be an expression of honoring God if I choose it. God can be glorified in my life, words, actions, tears and maybe even my anger. My most honest worship might be giving to person who begs or taking someone to the hospital when I want to do is sleep. I grew up believing that worship was something to sung but I now better understand that worship is something to be lived. I hope this year, i will live it fully!