culture shock in southern illinois

okay yesterday on our road trip to st louis we went though some really small towns and it weird to realize that i felt as much an outsider there as i sometimes feel in kolkata. we stopped in one place and they had built in ashtray right above the toliet paper holder...who sits on the toilet and smokes...i think i am missing something. also we went past this little resturant called LU-BOB's....i just pictured some good old boys hanging out for a drink in a movie like Fargo. anyway, weird to be back in my own country and feel like an outsider in small town america...definitely a city girl.

i am thankful for...

the ability to make and eat pumpkin pie and be with my family. i am thankful for my brother and my sister in law. i am thankful for gracie , landon and elisabth. I am thankful for kristin keen and hard roads that lead to new life. i am thankful for upendra, gita and kiran. i am thankful for aroti, champa and basanti. i am thankful for all the ladies working for sari bari at deepika esp thumpa, aduri and sikina who are so close to having freedom. i am thankful for new life in dying places. i am thankful for pilates and yoga and no lower back pain. i am thankful for my education and the life i get to lead. i am thankful for jesus and the new things i learn every day. i am thankful to have so many friends who i love so much....kim, amy, daphne, minde, sonya, julie m and julie l to name a few.

thankful to be here.

the journey begins....

so i have been back in the states for 2 days...resting mostly. enjoying some chips and salsa and as much diet soda as i can drink. went to old navy and gap but did not buy anything....nothing original or really cool....no offense to anyone....it just that my slightly hippy edge seems to have been pushed out this season.

I am heading for st louis today to spend time with my sister and her family and hopeful get in some coffee or something with ange and court (previous wmf kolakta peeps). I am loaded down with sari blankets for gifts and for selling in omaha....be happy omaha people there are some good ones. after st. louis i will be in omaha for a week and then with jared and julie in the fearfully cold fargo....i am happy to stopping in INDY today to see my brother and get my warm warm winter coat. and after that speaking at the beggars society on the 10th before heading to what i hope will be sunny CA on the 11th for a week. i am hopeful that my luggage will get lighter and lighter at each stop.

time in kolkata ended at a high point...things really came together on so many levels before we left. kristin and i are in a really good place relationally and sari bari is doing so well...upendra is in charge and has already sent me 2 emails telling how things are going...i taught him how to do email last week before i left and i think he is having fun emailing....just wait until he has to email 25 people back then we will see how he feels :)

i am so happy to be with and see my family. i love free refills and long sleeve t shirts. i love that i am going on a little road trip with my mom and dad today. i love that i will have a whole week with my neice and my sister. i love that i get to have thanksgiving with my family. i love that i am eating at bahama breeze today. i love that kristin, bethie, melinda and i will have time together in omaha. i love that i can be confident to leave sari bari in upendra's hands so that i am free to be present here.

Kristin lookin good in thailand

 

What a cute little lady...

 

Finally at home with Mom!!

 

Love this one...

 

Some of Diwali in Kolkata

 

Just got these back....more thailand

 

the amazing life i get to lead

so things here crazy busy in an amazing in and miraculous way. last week we signed the contract for a new place for sari bari--we will now have our own place and room enough for up to 15 women....so we will start with 5 new ladies in january when we return from the states.

a week ago friday we dressed up in sari's and went to the gach...it was so cool. gave out jolly ranchers which everyone seemed to love...we spent most our time in the brothel of the women who are working for sari bari on subcontracting partnership with an orgazniation called deepika. it was really an amazing and encouraging night to be with the ladies and to have silas--our regional coordinator visting us.

kristin and i have been continuing to work out the kinks in our relationship....in way i think we are both being slam dunked and we going to come out cleaner, purer and better on the other side....pray for that! god is working good things in both out hearts and teaching us much through each other.

i cried on friday as i realized that i am leaving for the states in a week and have been so busy and sick that i have not had the time with the ladies at sari bari that i would like...i have been in songacchi doing brothel visits three days a week and my time at sari bari has been very task driven....i just realized how much i love the ladies and i really miss them when i do not have regular time to invest in their lives and honestly i miss the challenge and investment that they bring in mine.

this week in gonna be crazy but we make out move into the new place tomorrow and then have fun day planned on tuesday with the ladies--making an outing to the movies and having lunch....we also have lots of visitors so that will make it even more interesting....

i will try to do better...i know that there has been a huge hole in my blog world and i have not been filling it!!

Some pics from Thailand

back to the blog

where do i begin...there has been this huge gap in my blogging...mainly cuz i had a pretty serious fever for more than a week and it has taken me awhile to get my energy back. but i am pretty much back to normal now and trying to catch up on my life...

we had a really great visit from brent anderson of the WMF office...he was a really great encouragement even and maybe even especially because i was sick most of the time he was here.

i have three weeks till coming back the states for a visit and i am trying to remain present to what is happening here...actually lots of good stuff is happening here! I will try and give a really good update tomorrow.

so that's all for now.

i am still alive

basically still alive but roughing it through my transitition back to kolkata. not sure why this seems to be happening...i do not think re-entry used to be so hard...it was always coming back to america that was hard. things at sari bari are going great and things at the gach are good too. i now have some more time with upendra finally done with training of our second site so he can more available at kalighat and i can go to the gach more...

anyway not much to say about much...except i pressing through...

Incovenient Truth

this movie is so good...whether you like al gore or not....this is not political issue. this is a kingdom issue...an issue of how we are destroying the creation with our carelessness. i am all pumped and inspired about just about everything...the creation, honoring my body, choosing simplicity. kristin is all inspired and hopeful for the girls in the gach.

on another note...a observation in thailand on the metro (sky train) each door has two lines--real lines of people to get on the train...people exit out the middle between the two lines and people wait to get on the train until everyone else has exited.

this is situation where law brings life!

in india...there is mass chaos when exiting and entering the metro..every man, woman and child for themself. one the metro if the sign marked for the ladies has fallen off the men will refuse to get up because the sign is not there.

this is a situation where the law brings death.

just a little observation on law, life and death in different cultures :)

i still haven't found what i am looking for...

yes, that is U2...but some good truth there for me. I have spent a week of rest in a relatively clean and decent place and in reflecting this morning I know that it still does not bring the satisfaction that i hoped for...i do not want to complain because time here has been really good. but I think being back in bangkok before depart tomorrow allows reality to set back in...i am looking forward to going back to kolkata but the next months will bring alot of work and i am sure alot of stress as we press forward into sari bari and the work in the gach.

i was reading ezekeil (sp?) this morning and in chapter one and two he basically describes the glory of God...the firery beautiful brillance. then i read 1 cor 3..and was struck again with paul being like "what you need a letter of recommendation"...you are the letter so be who you are...and then you have this treasure in jars of clay...that this is not about you but about jesus...i know i wrote about this before but it seems to kick my butt every time. it is not about you!! get over yourself, you are the letter so represent but do not let it be about you. so my goal is reflect that brilliance of ezekeil (the seen glory of God) as the letter with out letter my smoky, light dimming sinfulness getting in the way...the part of me that is selfish and needy and fearful. i am going to try anyway. sometimes i really can not get over how much crap I see reflected back to me in the context of community...i used to think i was a nice person, i still mostly am, but wow sometimes i really do not like who i am because it is not very nice at all.

so what i am looking for is a better me in the context of broken world...to be the letter no matter where i am in the world, to the jar of clay that can be crushed like an indian tea cup so that the glory of god can be seen inspite of me.

hey yeah i am not really as full of self loathing as it might seem in this blog but i am just feeling aware of my humanity and my brokeness in the context of community and what and how that brokenness can be used for his glory starting now and into the next years and months in kolkata.

this morning i realized that really want to content with my circumstances, not matter what they are, to find the goodness, peace and beauty in the good, bad and ugly times of life. i see others always striving never content..nothing is ever good enough and wow, seems like it would be really disappointing way to live. so i am gonna figure out in my idealist little mind how to enjoy whatever the circumstance while at the same hoping for the best in people and situations...my this is not possible but i really want it to be...like this morning i am going to enjoy starbucks on a cloudy day in bangkok...a moment that will be amazing and maybe divine depending on the brew of coffee today:)

beach days ending...

friday was am-mazing. we had sun, sea kayaking and some lame snorkeling but overall a sweet little trip. hopping from island to island on a long boat. we sea kayaked around one of the islands...it is basically a limestone island so the formations on the rock walls were like nothing i have ever seen before.

kristin turned 30 yesterday and while it was raining again it was really a good day. we had breakfast out and then walked around, did a little shopping until the sun came out...and then we hit the beach for a couple of hours where we met fredrick...i guess i should say kristin met fredrick...cute 25 year old german guy...he will come into the story more later.

so we spent the rest of the afternoon evening trying to entertain ourselves so we could stay awake...and stay up late. we took a short nap, walked around some more...we were supposed to have some wine on the beach to celebrate but we got poured out...so we went to resturant and had prawns and wine...the thais are really cool no issues with bringing on our own..this would never happen in india. then we went back to the room played boggle, went out again went shopping, then to the atm, then to email again...all trying to kill time till 1030 when we would fredrick again for some more celebration...we are so old..we go to bed at like 10 everynight in calcutta so this was a big night....we made it through though and had a really, really good time talking with fredrick about music and movies...pretty sure he knows more than we do about american popular culture.

it does not matter what culture i am in, i always get hit on by indian guys, later on in the night this really interesting guy from north india joined us. he asked what we do and usually we get uncomfortable silence but apparently he worked with a guy for a couple years filming a documentary on the red light districts of india...so he totally knew where we work and was really. really. compassinate toward the girls...

so we played a couple of games of pool and then headed out for the memory making swim in the ocean at 2am. it was a great day...and i think a great 30th for kristin.

we head back to bangkok today...there is a typhoon headed this ways so the city seems like a better option for our last days here...maybe we will see a movie...

looking forward to coming home to kolkata on tuesday...

Rough itinerary for trip to the states

Just wanted to share out my rough itinerary for my november/ december trip home. i hope to have good quality time with everyone. Send me an email if you want to set up specific time while i am in your area.

November 19 Leave India/ arrive Fort Wayne IN
November 22 Travel by car to St. Louis for Family thanksgiving at Elisabeths
November 29 Leave st. Louis/Arrive Omaha NE
Nov 29-December 2 Kolkata Staff Retreat in Omaha
December 2-7 Hanging in O town
December 8-10 Fargo, ND with Landreths
December 10 Return to Omaha for Beggars Society
December 11 Depart Omaha/ Arrive Los Angeles
December 17 Depart Los Angeles/ Arrive Indianpolis
December 17-December 27 Indiana

the beautiful land

yes, that is where i am in one of the most beautiful places on earth. We just got to Au Nang from Ko Lanta. Au Nang is way better simply because there are more travelers here to hang around with and pratice being "open". some of you know what i mean...and the sun is shining. yesterday was a bit of bummer because the monsoon is still in full swing so the cloudy rainy days can get you down when all you want is a tan and to ride around on a scooter.

it is really beautiful and we are going on a little adventure tomorrow to snorkel and sea kayak. should be fun...

more soon!

coffee, thai food, the bum etc.

bangkok has been amazing even with only 24 hours....you can eat really good food on the street for less than a dollar and then feel less guilty about spending 3 bucks on a coffee at starbucks. it's balance that seems to work for me...

the pineapple here is amazing...maybe the best in the world--at least that i have tasted.mmmm...what else starting to gather some christmas presents which is fun.

also finding that being here is another reminder how much i/ we need to pray for men. so many men are here just for the sex industry. you see them everywhere with thai girls...it is very distrubing and sad on so many levels. i wonder what the thai girls think...are they happy or sad to be out with a foreigner.

we off in a bit to catch our bus to karabi...14 hours of fun to be sure. thankful to have my donut with me. yes, i have been carrying it everywhere...i hope it will be enough to help me endure the bus ride.

more soon...

breakthrough and a banged up BUM!

breaking through the darkness is a beautiful thing! i had a couple of rough days there but things are getting better as they always do...just hard to live your brokeness sometimes when do not know your way out of it...it is amazing to have a community around you to walk with you through these things....my community is really a community of one other so...i guess i owe some public love to kristin! she walked with me through the hard stuff. really want to live free and in the spirit....reading galations 5...just not sure what this looks like in real life and how the heck do i become that person in gal 5!!

is has been raining since tuesday here..everyday, all day. yesterday was the worst, 2nd highest rainfall ever in kolkata in the last 30 years. we had to do a little wading through the streets and our house leaks like a sieve but we made it through...

the rain also caused our stairs to be totally drenched in water and i had the joy of slipping several times before i finally fell down the stairs and significantly bruised or something to my tailbone/bum area. never really knew i needed to use my hiney so much..have to say i miss sitting like a normal person after just 3 days of this...kristin bought me a donut to sit on today....yes, thisis funny...especially since i will be carrying it around thailand for the next week.

we are off to thailand tonight for our visa run and kristin's birthday...should be fun. will try and update the blog at least once while am there...