whole life

so i am back in crazy k-town. the a cacophony of horns wake me up in the morning. I squeeze myself into the metro to get to my favorite place in the world and get the beautiful priveledge of walking with the women of SB in their lives of freedom. I get to see the kingdom coming everyday. there is fullness in my life because of my communities prayers and hopes and dreams.

after my time of rest, i have been pondering what it means to have full life. i certainly have a life that is full. but sometimes, it is so full of work and things i feel i have to do that i lose the joy. i want it all. the treasure of freedom for the women and the satisfaction of work, the peace of rest and the joy of play. i want to create something new everyday....spend myself fully and not battle burnout.

i am a woman who wants to make things happen and when they do not or there is disappointment i take it hard. i realized that i need to be in place where i can relax and just "be" in the all the situations i find myself. i can not control and fix myself or fix everyone around me. i am terribly hard on myself most of the time...so this needs to be my year of grace. the year i learn to live in grace, walk in grace and be graceful. like i said before i need to let the savior save and everyone around me instead striving so hard to create a perfect situation that my never exist. because i see the kingdom coming inspite of me, inspite of all the failures, all the hardness of real relationship, all the trials of living in another a culture. the kingdom comes in spite of me...thank sweet jesus for that.

i am wishing for newness for my heart this year. a fresh fullness that comes from being one who is saved and knowing that is enough.

i also want to lose 35 pounds this year...35 because i am turning 35 and it seems like a good time to try for it. so i am filling my plate with fruit and vegtables and holding off on the all the lovely goodies i got for christmas. but still enjoying little treasures like chocolate with my coffee this morning. but of course even in this i hope to walk in grace.

so a toast to new life, a whole life, and walking in grace.

cheers!