God's eyes are better than mine...i am thankful that he is letting me see again with His.

These last weeks have been full of joy and amazement as we have opened the doors of our second Sari Bari unit. What is happening now is the realization of a dream...it is the dream we thought we would never see realized. Light burns the darkness and Hope rises from the the murky depths to triumph over devastation.

I can now walk to work in 2 minutes straight thought the heart of the Gach. And each morning the Gach leaves is mark on me. There is a face the turns and smiles, a woman who wants a job, and a muddy lane that leaves is marks on my pant legs every day. It is a walk of boldness and humility, if those can exist at the same time. As I walk I make the choice to be exposed to the darkness, letting it grab me before I walk through the gates of Sari Bari. Truly, even after all this time it takes a little guts for me to do this alone. What is humbling is knowledge of where I am, where we have been and the road that we have taken to arrive at this point, all to make a space of safety and Resurrection in the midst of a place of danger and death. I am humbled that this is the place that God has given, humbled we as a community together acknowledge all that God has done to bring us from a few ladies in a tiny room to the darkest lane in the Gach throwing open the doorways of freedom. Humble because I know that this miracle is both God's grace and mercy on His beloved daughters and son's in the red light and His grace and mercy for our community in the gift of being able to see dreams come true. And the fight has been and is real but it is and always has been His fight and it humbling to see what happens when we have let Him lead and provide and use us.

In the last months, I have been surprised by how God shows up in my own life and how He keeps showing himself in very real and tangible ways for friends here. I do not know why I am surprised...i think I keep expecting more setbacks and end points. But what is constantly being affirmed for me personally and communally is that God sits at the table waiting, always present for us to show up. He is not the one that needs to show up in the equation, I am the one that needs to show up. When I show up He is always waiting, and sometimes when I do not show up He gets up from the table and stands in my way to do what i should have been letting Him do in the first place.

God is showing up not only in the joys of recent weeks but also in the losses and places of suffering. Our friend Ranjana is dying of AIDS. She has worked for us for a couple of years and there has been a profound struggle for her life in the last 6 months. She is losing the struggle and we are all beside ourselves whether we admit it and allow the tears to come or not. She has known a life full of deep suffering and suffers still. She often talks of dying and this may be the end. We have moved from encouraging her struggle to live to assuring her that the dreams that she dreams of Jesus are real and His presence is with her now in the seen will be very soon tangible when she gets to live in Jesus house. We see Jesus holding her, she sees Him holding in her dreams cradling her head. We know that this suffering will end and it is gift to be able to offer that there will be an end to the tears and the sickness. We want our ranjana to live, to raise her kids and to keep finding life and freedom among us but know that our dreams for Ranjana are probably too small and God will do what he does and keep meeting her, holding her and loving her whether it is in this lifetime or not.

We have struggled to love Ranjana's husband knowing the personal burden's and struggles of Ranjana's family. But as we lose Ranjana we have been given eyes to a broken man who looks for love as we all do and needs it so desperately. I once said that i did not know if i had ever met a more broken and destroyed individual but yesterday I realized, he just wears his shame on the outside...humiliation draped around his shoulder marking him unfairly in world where most of us are master's of illusion. God loves this man deeply, just as he loves Ranjana. God's eyes are better than mine...i am thankful that he is letting me see again with His.

The suffering of Rajana and her husband exists beside the joy and celebration of God making things new in the Gach and in KG. This is how it is in our broken world...where the kingdom comes and yet all of creation writhes with devastation, both exist, in both places we find "Emmanuel", in death and in Resurrection.

Pray for Ranjana and her family. Pray for continued grace and favor for Sari Bari and pray for the 25 ladies who are working toward freedom. And for the 30 ladies who have been long on the exodus road and are still engaged in battle for their lives and
hearts.