learning to let others fail

i am extremly hard on myself most of the time...i have high standards for myself and that often translates in to having a hard time failing. oh i know we all hate to fail...at least i know that i do. the thing is i fail all the time...i fail myself and i fail others...i can not be what i want to be..or as paul say so well...why do i do the things i do not want to do. what a complex mixture of beauty and failure we all are... however, this difficulty i have failing also often means that i have a hard time letting others fail. i want everybody to be happy, healthy and failure free. i want to protect those around me the crash and burn that i so easily find myself in at least on a weekly basis. i want to give advice or i guess you could say control situations where i am aware failure can happen. however, i know i can not fix and or protect those around me and i just need to let them fail. i mean that's how i learn...i learn by screwing up completely. it is just so hard to keep my mouth shut sometimes...i want to give the answer when the question has not been asked. i often annoy myself because i have this tendancy to take everything out to the very end....from step one to 20 i project how things will happen as a result of single action. i do this to myself and i do this to people around me....i really try not too but sometime i can not stop myself...my mind goes there without my permission. one of the big lessons of the last two weeks had been learning to keep my mouth shut and those around me fail and learn for themselves...it is a weird thing because i almost feel like i have to withdraw in order to let it happen. i hoping it gets easier. i am hoping being a kind, gentle, cheerleader and servant is the kind of leader i will become...i do not want to control. darn that tendancy to want to make things perfect..to control. it is so ugly. even this blog entry is tool in helping me process this...letting people fail thing...because i am taking out my feelings here instead of on a person i fear might fail.

i mean i am running sari bari on the fail first and fix it plan. why can't i let others do the same....praying for lots of grace today.... yeah grace, that is vocab word i know but not one i have really let in to my heart for myself and maybe i have let it in for the sari bari ladies more than anyone else because i have grace a million miles long for them but it does not extend everywhere to everyone. so i guess grace takes pratice...so right now i am practicing and hoping that one day it will come naturally. dont they say it takes 2 weeks to form a habit...i have been working on this letting others fail things for a couple of weeks now but it still not a habit. super glad to serve a GOD that is a thousand times more gracious that i am...lord help me.