love your enemies

i think experiment is becoming more natural for me and i can see how practicing open hands, open heart leads to actually having at least more openness than before. but also how it can be so terribly painful. I had the strange and sad opportunity to meet the long term "babu" of one of our ladies last week. He is an austrailian man in his forties and he has been visiting one of the SB ladies since she was 14. i was full of loathing as i thought about meeting him but it was important to this lady that i do so...so i went to her house for tea. i felt like i sat down at the table in the presence of my enemy. I felt like he represented all that i hate about what men do to women who work in the trade. he was superior and justified his actions without me saying a word. mind you i did not say much, i was polite and kind and treated with him respect more for my friends sake than his. i wanted to yell and accuse. to demand explanation for his relationship with my friend, his use of her, his choice to continue to seek out other very young girls to sleep with in the red light area....but i felt the need to be silent, to be kind, to remember in the presence of my enemy that i am called to love my enemies and pray for those who persecute. i sense my presence and the presence of jesus that came with me was enough for him to feel all the condemnation that he must keep at bay, because it poured out with my saying anything, the guilt, the justification, the proud proclamation of what he believes. my silence i think was a grace for both of us...because instead of not so righteous anger, i was just so sad for this man. so sad for my friend and the lives of parrell pain and suffering that we inflict on each other. i felt sick with the sadness for my friend and twistedness of one of the most consistent relationships in her life is a man to who she can barely communicate and who openly sleeps with her and her neighbors. having an open heart, is painful, to let everyone in, to let them take a piece, even my enemies...jesus laid down his life not just for the righteous but for his enemies from that day to this....this is a beautiful profoundly painful sacrifice. i do not think i could lay down my life for that man, it was hard enough to hold my tongue. what a terrible, terrible tragedy that i so rarely comprehend this profound gift of grace, of undeserved forgiveness. may we all grow in grace and the knowledge of jesus...