sometimes i wish i was not so sensitive. i woke up, worked out and was having a pretty good morning and i got a call that really frustrated and upset me. I feel a little lied to and misled and i am stuggling to regain my day in a good. part of it is really that the phone called required me to give more effort to the day than i was planning, more work...but i guess that is what i agreed to in coming here... freedom is not with out its price and really i would not trade anything i am doing...but i wish i did not get discouraged so easily. i am being purposefully vague so as not harm anyone but i wanted to get out my feelings. i had some really good advice recently, a woman who works with the girls in the trade told me you can not be swayed by the ups and downs. you have to stay even....because you will have amazing highs and new hope for the girls and then at any minute it can be smashed with disappointment and betrayl. I used to give this analogy to my servant team members that God is like a straight line--steady and unmoving and we as humans tend to be squiggly line--all over the freaken place and to take that into consideration when things in kolkata make you feel out of control...remember God is steady and most certainly in control. So i am trying to take my own and my friends wise advice today but it is certainly a stuggle.
just a few good things about today...kristin offered to make me breakfast after the upsetting phone call, i got to see Shopna at sari bari, a beautiful little girl of one of the ladies and i learned how to say " do think i am stupid/a fool" in bengali (it is an idiom not a literal translation)--goes like this " tumi amake bhoka peyecho". try it out on your friends if you are feeling bold.
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