Learning the hard way

I pretty much do not have a problem learning things the hard way. If i fall flat on my face, well then i know that there must be a better way to do it next time and i will generally keep trying until i get it right.

The hardest thing about learning things this way, is not really how it affects me, but how it affects those around me. I can see how my leadership has helped to cultivate some good things, even great things but i can also see how my failures have set up bad patterns for others. And how my bad patterns got picked up along the way and made mantra. I am a workaholic and i see that as a bad thing....at least not sustainable for the long term. And I can see how that exhibits itself the staff sometimes and how in falling flat on my face in that area of my life has brought others along with me in the hard lesson. And now we all need to pick up the pieces and start over...

I can see how my choice to let need to govern my decision making has affected the freedom of a number of ladies. There are many factors but its no fun to learn the hard way that just because 19 ladies want a job and freedom from the trade that you need to meet them all right then and there with a job. Especially if you do not really have the staff or the space to support them well. Because what happens is we go from the ability to give our best to giving the bare minimum because that is all we have left. And offering freedom and new life to others is maybe the one place you do not want to have learn the hard way and fall flat on your face because the negative consequences have the potential to affect so many. We had a staff meeting today and talked about what has happened with this group of trainees. We have never had this rate of attrition and we could all point to decisions we made and places that we got lost along the way in the way that we supported, cared for, corrected and followed through with this group of ladies. We can not know what the difference might have been if we had only taken 10 but we can still be thankful for the 12 that are still with us. But it not a lesson i wanted to learn the hard way again, not for my sake but for the sake of these beautiful ladies that God has entrusted into our care.