light at the end of the tunnel

we dehumanize each other...the rich and the poor. The Have's dehumanize Have not's and the Have not's dehumanize the Haves. Many of us consider the poor to be lazy, drug addicted, somehow deserving of the poverty that they live in...on the other side the poor view the rich and probably more specifically the West as overflowing with money, greedy, fat, callous to the needs of the poor. I see this dicotomy everyday. in fact i live in it...as much as i seek to be incarnational with the poor there is still a vast gulf of man's inhumanity to man that seperates us. the thing is the reasons and way we dehumanize are not true in generalizations...i see the poor work very very hard on empty stomachs and i know the tremendous genorostiy of the West and specifically of the CHURCH. And yet the lies remain to seperate and dehumanize all of humanity. i am weary of the seperation...part of my call is to eliminate this seperation yet i feel constantly embattled...

is it right for to answer every need around me with a YES? i ask myself this question all the time...this is question first timers always ask when they come here. i keep trying to figure out what my most profound yes can be...after year of pondering this i have come up with another answer (i am sure there will be yet another answer in the future)...my PROFOUND YES is this...i want to be apart of wholistic life giving freedom for women in and coming out of the sex trade. And in my deepest yes, there will be many, many NO's because unfortunatley freedom is a hard and weary road to walk...no one ever said it would easy but WOW i certainly think it is worth it to have freedom. I can only walk with these ladies, i can give a job and HOPE...certainly something to HOPE IN...but i can not give in to the desire to make it easy and in making it easy make them dependant. especially, because freedom will bring them to a place interdependance with GOD and NOT co-dependance on man. I have had to say some very hard NO's this last week. no's that have broken my heart over and over again...i feel like i can taste what it must be like to be mother or father who wants to give their child everything, all good things, to spoil them in a sense, to lavish them with all the good things that money can buy...but i am restrained...i know that i can not do that...i guess there is point that you have to let your child fall so that he can get up and walk again on his own. i can still lavish the love but i learning this week that i have to let child fall, SAY some no's, so that the child will get up and walk and I can give the deeper PROFOUND YES.

I am not gonna proof this cause i do not have time but i hope it makes sense. things are a little better here in kolkata..so if you have been praying for us keep it up and i am sure things will right themselves to an even higher level of good...we serve a God that makes all things new. reading matthew 10 over and over the last 2 days...super encouraged..love the be wise as serpents and gentle as doves thing...and at the end i feel very loved and known as i remember that he knows the hairs of our head!